My boat trip turned out to be a criuse! I was so excited – I have always wanted to go on a cruise. MS Mariella had 10 floors, and the first person I saw was a man in a mustard yellow dressing gown heading off to the sauna. My cabin was right at the bottom next to the engine room, and I couldn’t help thinking of all the third class passengers who died on the Titanic. But I did have the cabin to myself, quite a luxury. To my disappointment the on board attractions (even the Swedish karaoke) lost their charm pretty quickly, but the views from the upper decks were beautiful.

We passed thousands and thousands of small Swedish islands, past endless forests and the occasional summer house. Where there was a small village or town, a faint mist hung over the roofs and the air was filled with the smell of wood fires.  Sunset was even lovlier, casting a warm glow over the forests and making even the black water seem warmer. Once the sun had gone down, things quickly got cold, and we passed bleak islands which were little more than crags of rock with skeletal trees, whose branches were filled with birds.  By the time it was dark, it was painfully cold, and there was just the slenderest of crescent moons in the night sky.

The next morning, I went above deck and found myself in a freezing Baltic sea mist so thick that half the ship had disappeared. I went down to spend the last of my krona on the only thing I could afford, a disappointing pot of yoghurt which looked slightly yellow and tasted off. I stood up to take it back, but thought better of it in case it was supposed to be a delicacy, which indeed it turned out to be. Viili is a Finnish type of fermented yoghurt, renowned for its slimy, gloopy texture. So I forced myself to eat it, and by the end was even slightly enjoying it.

Helsinki is a small city, but on a Sunday morning it could pass for a small seaside town. Walking around, I saw stalls selling reindeer kebabs and salmon burgers, though for a nation where people drink on average four cups of coffee a day, cafes are surprisigly hard to find; it seemed suspiciously quiet. The last few patches of snow were finally melting and the grass was just beginning to wake up.

Residential blocks were built not around gardens or parks, but around enormous rocks. In one of these rocks, a lovely church has been hewn. Outside the church were Santa souvenir shops for all the Lapland tourists.

Arriving at last at my eco-hostel, which was in an idyllic timber-housed suburb of Helsinki, I was surrounded by fairies and books on the mysteries of immortality.

As I stepped on to the train to Fredericia, I was overtaken by a stream of Danish teenagers – so many that everyone else had to stand for the 3 hour journey. Rushing for the next train to Copenhagen, I made sure to get a seat and found myself at a table with two German ladies who spoke perfect English (as everyone in Scandinavia seems to) so we chatted away as they pulled out their immaculate, super healthy packed lunch. I was then roped into helping carry an Iraqi-American woman’s suitcase (in addidtion to my three bags) to the airport, where we caught the train to Sweden. The border police were on high alert after Brussels so every train was delayed, but they were the friendliest and chattiest police I have every met. Eventually, I arrived in Stockholm at midnight.

The following morning I went outside and was blinded by the sunshine reflected from the water. The roads were full of scarily fit joggers and people on strange fitness devices that I don’t even know what to call. In the old town, the Gamla Stan, the streets were narrow and colourful; the main street was completely touristy with toy reindeers and viking shops, but as soon as you stepped off into any of the alleyways or quieter streets, the town seemed deserted and was full of wonderful little shops with beautifully designed window displays.

I happened to pass the Royal Palace just before noon and a crowd was gathering, so I went along to watch the guards change. They weren’t even on time and I couldn’t see a thing, but everyone else was excited and people were clambering all over the place to get a better view. Finally, we heard a faint drumbeat and marching footsteps getting louder, and a full military band came into sight (on the phone screen in front of me at least). The soldiers, mostly fat women, shouted at each other with their bayonets waving around, then I got bored and wandered off to find some kanelbulle. Sweden is horrifically expensive. An iceberg lettuce in a supermarket cost £4. If it weren’t for this, Stockholm would be perfect!

I’m off at last!! My bags are a little heavy, but there’s nothing better to lighten a load than sunshine and a cold wind.

I set off in style, knowing things could only go downhill and get smellier: breakfast at Fortnum & Mason and the Eurostar to Brussels. Then a minor delay meant I had just 12 minutes to change trains – my first backpack endurance test. A spacious German train journey later and I was in Cologne. Stepping off into the station I was greeted by the unmistakeable smell of bratwurst, which  were hanging up on strings everywhere.

Cologne cathedral looms over the station, so it is perfect for a fleeting visit, and the monstrous gargoyles have a strangely hypnotic effect. Inside, the vaulted ceiling soars above and the whole building is made to seem even taller by the contrasting stained glass windows, the blue and purple upper floors and the warm yellow and orange lower windows. And of course, there were far too many gothic carvings to see in such a short time.

Finaly, I arrived in Hamburg and made my way to the Reeperbahn, the infamous red light district where I was to spend the night. There was a neon pink haze and generally seedy atmosphere but it seemed relatively tame, though it was only the next morning that I found the street women are banned from.

Picking up a tourist map and following a walking route, I saw various banks, squares, expensive shops and churches in the rain. Hamburg might be a little boring, or perhaps the route was just sponsored by the shops, but it was a perfectly pleasant stroll.